I'm grateful for my nursing bra.

Having had such a difficult pregnancy I now feel it my solemn duty to pay attention to the prego ladies I come in contact with and make sure that they are alright. I listen, I validate, I tell them they look amazing and acknowledge how horrible heartburn, backaches, desperate fatigue, water retention and emotional instability is. About a month ago, sitting in Relief Society, I turned to one such woman (Sarah) who was heavily pregnant with her first and I asked how she was feeling. She burst into tears. We sat at the back of the room and whispered to each other throughout a good part of the lesson and then exchanged phone numbers. She came and visited me in the mother's lounge the next Sunday and mentioned that she was nervous about having a baby and didn't know if she would know what to do with the baby once it came. She asked me about breastfeeding and since I struggled with that as well, I was more than excited to tell her what I had learned. I thought that when the baby was born I would be able to help her with that.

Three weeks ago she gave birth to a healthy baby boy. During the delivery she suffered a stroke and a week after the delivery she died. The Sunday after she passed, the Relief Society president handed me a bag filled with a few nursing related items, amoung the items was a pretty navy and white nursing bra. I had no idea where the items had come from as there are a number of young mothers in the ward and when I thanked her and asked if she wanted any money for the things she said "well, no, these things weren't able to be used for their intended purpose so....." And then I realized that these were Sarah's and it was absolutely tragic for me to think that Sarah didn't get a chance to nurse her little one. At first, I wasn't very keen on wearing the bra because I thought it would remind me of the tragedy but I decided to wear it to remind myself of how lucky I am to be able to mother my children.

I invited Sarah's husband over for dinner this evening. He brought his little baby Logan with him and I held and kissed and cuddled that little boy and I wanted to cry thinking that his mother isn't here to hold and kiss and cuddle him. At one point in the evening the baby started fussing and I knew he was hungry so I asked if I could try feeding him. I took little Logan into my bedroom, unclasped Sarah's pretty navy and white bra, and nursed him.

"The death of someone we know always reminds us that we are still alive - perhaps for some purpose which we ought to re-examine." ~Mignon McLaughlin.
I'm grateful I'm alive, I'm grateful Jordan is alive, I'm grateful for every day I have with my children. I'm grateful for my nursing bra.
Seize the Day by Carolyn Arends and Alive by Edwin. These songs are old favorites of mine. If any of you know any songs, poems, stories, movies etc. that celebrate the gift of life I'd love it if you shared.