So I was sitting with Ian and Melissa and the gang for breakfast yesterday and somehow the conversation turned to baldness and how the boys were going to encounter the genetic equivalent of "the perfect storm" given their bald familial predecessors. I thought about how sad it will be when Action Jackson loses his lushous locks and Chrissie's curls face the onslaught of cruel merciless genetic science as it goes to work on his scalp. I also thought about how Julian and Caleb will have to confront this challenge and hoped that it would be later rather than sooner. At which time Ian and Melissa both nonchalantly observed that my hair was thinning a bit since the last time I saw them. At first I didn't really believe it and just thought they were maybe joking or something but then I realized oh no they weren't! I tried to keep my regular calm cool demeanor but inside I was deeply troubled there was no denying it.
The rest of the day was spent thinking about the slow, steady erosion of my hair follicles by the crown of my head and thinking why? I swear I could feel the thinning spot on my head tingle as my precious hair was rapidly fleeing from my head to seek out new, youthful more exciting and rich heads of hair. Every once in awhile I would put my hand to my hair to try to feel if indeed my hair was thinning and sadly indeed it was. I didn't understand. I was supposed to be safe. Guido was supposed to ensure a progeny of men with long lushous locks until middle age and beyond. Grandpa is no slouch either having held on to a respectable amount of hair into his 80s. I guess I got an extra helping of Schneider genes which is both a blessing and a curse. And why before I was married I mean come on?
The sad reality is it is a fact I will one day probably be bald (It's still early who knows maybe my hair will stick around) but there are no guarantees. I guess what I am saying is it was an unpleasant surprise and I thought I was safe. Baldness strikes many different men at different stages and at varying degrees some people know that it is likely coming ie) sorry to all the male children of Melissa, Goo and Wooz but other times it comes like a thief in the night. I guess I'll have to do some research and see how far away science is from finding a cure. If worse comes to worse I can also see if there's a bald Bill Gates out there anywhere.
4 comments:
This is a great post. I do feel bad about letting the cat out of the bag. It really isn't bad and hardly noticeable, I'm sure you'll have plenty of hair for years to come. Additionally, I don't think you'll ever be as bald as me (if that's any consolation). If there is any silver lining to this, it sounds like your rethinking your timeline on marriage some. Best to get a move on, while you still have your youth and looks!
What Ian said.
Beej you'll soon realize what I knew about 34 years ago - bald men rule.
So why haven't I noticed any changes in your follicle density? Guess I'm slacking off as a Mom :)
Well if you say so. My only comment is that whatever you do, if a top head is thinning, don't grow out the sides like Exhibit B.... that's the WORST
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