Storytime - chapter 1

Mr. Davis blew out his candles and weakly smiled as the other residents stood by and clapped their feeble, unenthusiastic hands. "Mr. Davis" said one of the nurses "aren't you proud that you're ninety years old today?" Mr. Davis didn't respond. Instead he stood up and slowly shuffled back to his room. He pulled out a shoebox from underneath his bed and opened it up. The glass bottle he held shone a bright green light - he knew they wouldn't let him die until he had done what they had asked. Mr. Davis wasn't 90, he was 120 years old and still waiting for the right person to deliver the package to. He had been too choosy he realized. He was tired and ready for the end - now he resolved that good or bad, he would give it to the next person who walked into his room. Suddenly he heard a knock at his door.

The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat

Over the past couple of weeks, my sporting world has been kind of busy, despite the summer supposedly being barren of sporting events except for baseball (which I regard as the most boring sport of them all). The work softball league has been going full steam ahead (the ward/stake one died out due to lack of participation) and ultimate frisbee is still as fun as ever. The watching of sports, however, has been even more exciting due to tournaments and competitions, highlighted by this:


We resorted to watching Game 7 at home; Lindsay watched the 1st period while I was still at work, we watched a bit of the 2nd period together then she went to a Relief Society activity while I provided text updates. It didn't go our way (Lindsay was rooting for the Canadian team since Edmonton wasn't playing and I, not having any prior hockey attachments, cheered for the same team Lindsay did) but at least there was no rioting in LA. That I know of.

At the same time, the soccer world is participating in the Gold Cup, which is to determine the champion of the CONCACAF region, which is North America, Central America and the Caribbean. The United States is now in the semifinals. Unfortunately, Canada got knocked out in the group play phase due to a very late goal in their last game, plus they also lost to the United States. It's been a bit of a rough patch for Canadian sports recently, but things can turn around quickly. Such is the nature of sports.

Oh, and Happy Father's Day to all the dads (and future dads) out there!

Bonanza non-extravaganza

So as we were pulling into Regina for Aaron and Patti's wedding, I noticed Bonanza and strongly lobbied the group that for old time's sake it would be a good idea to go. As a youngster growing up and as many of the Schneider kids can also attest to, we frequented Bonanza especially when we lived in the ghetto by McKee elementary school.

I feel that I've definitely made a few mistakes in my life but I think this one was one of the worst. The food just wanted nearly as good and the self-serve ice cream just didn't have the same deliciousness as the early 90s. I still ate lots of food because I'm never one to shy away from a buffet but the sub-par quality definitely was a bit of a let down. Although it did help me appreciate the beef tenderloin that Aaron reminded me I had ordered for the wedding that much more.

Even little Benjamin was not satisfied with the ice cream because it was below his standards and he loves ice cream it seems to say that as much as he does "dewwwww" which is his version of juice. Would I go back to Bonanza? Probably not. The food is still ridiculously cheap but I want to try to salvage the memory I have of all you can eat ice cream that you can serve yourself and eat forever. Going to Bonanza again could destroy that memory for good.

Story Time Final Chapter Wible Revealed

The ticking grew louder and louder and then suddenly, it stopped. With increasing panic and desperation Dan looked at the clock and noticed that its screen was flashing DECODE! DECODE! He realized he had only seconds to act. The image of the man with the facial burns flashed into his mind. He grabbed the clock and looked at the back. Then it struck him. The buttons were the same as on the Ben and Jerry's labeling machine.

Once again his knowledge of the Ben and Jerry's assembly line proved useful. Quickly he punched in the code for emergency shutdown. The DECODE message stopped and was replaced by a GPS coordinate. The indicator pointed to a location only a few feet away at the dock next to the opera house.

As he ran towards the opera house, he noticed how eerily similar it was to a series of Ben and Jerry cartons turned sideways. He was amazed how Ben and Jerry had influenced art and design around the world. Suddenly, the clock's alarm went off. He was here! Then he saw something under the edge of the dock!

It looked like an ice cream carton of pure gold. He popped off the lid, but instead of smooth creamy decadence he saw a 3 x 5 index card with the letters WIBLE and what looked like an ice cream recipe. Then it struck him. The rumors were true. This was a radical new product so irresistible that it could revolutionize the icecream industry for decades.

"Nice work, Dan. I'll take that". The words jarred him back to reality. Ray was standing beside him with a crooked grin on his face. Ominously, his right hand had sprouted a midget size Smith and Wesson. Now he realized why Ray wanted him to come to work early.

"Who bought you, Ray?" he asked bitterly. He was answered only with maniacal laughter. It had to be Haagen Dasz. They were the only ones with the resources and German precision to pull off something like this.

Well, they weren't going to get away with it!

"Here, take it, you traitor!"

As Ray reached for the recipe, a quick roundhouse kick knocked the gun away, and a knee to the jaw quickly dispatched the midget. All those hours watching mixed martial arts and eating ice cream had really paid off.

Dan wasn't sure what to do next. Then he noticed a skype button on the clock.

He pushed the button and the man with the facial burns came on the screen with the others in the poker game at the warehouse.

"Great work, Dan. We've been watching you on our satellite system. We suspected Ray was a traitor but we didn't have enough evidence to bring him in. We'll send a helicopter to pick you up and bring you back here to Auckland. As you probably have guessed we are the security team for Ben and Jerry. We've been trying to recover the secret recipe, code name WIBLE, after it got our of our hands. The WIBLE clock stands for WATERPROOF INTERNATIONAL BJSECRET LOCATION EXPEDITER. Its technology was a little more than we could handle. Thanks to you it is safe. We'd like you to join our team, Dan. We'll double your salary and throw in all the ice cream you can eat with a membership to the company gym so you can stay trim."

"Count me in", Dan said. A wave of satisfaction rolled over him. Another great day in the B&J universe.

Story Time Chapter 9

Dan surfaced through the black hole of unconsciousness to the sound of waves hammering near his ears like fists.

Where was he? The warmth of the sand under his skin felt like the fleece blanket he always wrapped around his shoulders when he sat with his carton of Chunky Monkey on a winter's day.

He sandpapered the grit out from his eyelids and there it was - those massive concrete wings exploding into the clouds. The Sydney Opera House! He sat up, grimacing. He alighted on the fact that it had to be his quick thinking and dexterity that had forced him to blast his way through the tsunami and now here he was on the smooth expanse of sand, all alone. Or was he? A midgety squat figure hovered nearby.

"Ray? Is it you?"

"Who else would it be?", the rich gruff voice was cello to his ears. "I escaped from their frozen clutches to follow you. You know I wouldn't let you do this alone. But it looks like you could easily have been a man short after all because - You were magnificent back there... And now you have just one last little thing to do, one little thing that only you can do..."

A sound nearby stopped him short, a sound that grew louder and louder with each tick. Their eyes propelled themselves reluctantly to a silver clock, half-buried in the sand, with six blackened letters - 'W-I-B-L-E'.

Story (Chapter 8)

Melissa is totally swamped right now. I'll jump in with a chapter now and may have to do her chapter as well:

Dan had always wanted to get to Sydney, but not this way. He quickly assessed the situation and it was dire. The tsunami alone will destroy half the city and who knows how much devastation is packed into this vest, he thought. He watched the midget jump into the water and swim past the wave, agile and effortless as a dolphin. Dan would have noted how surreal the moment was if he wasn't totally concentrated on the vest. He noted that the clasp mechanisms were almost identical to the automatic capping machine at the Ben & Jerry's factory, which he knew forwards and back, having serviced the temperamental machine almost daily. With a few strategic twists he managed to remove the vest and dropped it off the side of the surfboard. He then jumped off as well. The power of the tsunami was ridiculous, Dan was barely able to aim the machine gun and shoot the explosives about 100 yards from him in the water. BOOM! The vest packed a devastating punch throwing Dan forcefully through the water. As he blacked out again, he saw the midget swimming toward him.

Happy Birthday Melissa

I totally forgot about this until Linds sent an email reminder today (thanks for being on top of it!). It's Ian's turn to post about me but he's swamped- we just entered into escrow on a new house yesterday which he's totally handling plus I'm turning in a huge project this week and next to the church, on top of the usual craziness of having two sets of twins it's been a whirlwind so I know it's unorthodox to wish myself Happy Birthday but for the sake of sanity I'll take something off his plate ;) Love you all!!!

How old are you turning this year? 34

What is your favorite food? I never seem to get tired of roast chicken and fresh strawberry jam

What is your most frequently purchased grocery item? Milk

What is your bedtime routine like? Lately I've been editing for the church a lot at night... I also try to read scriptures on my iphone and plan out the next day

What are three things you absolutely have to do every day? Clean the table from breakfast, read scriptures, kiss the kiddos

What do you listen to most (artist, radio station/program, podcast)? Glee

What’s one skill you wish you had? better cooking prowess

What skill are you most proud of? at this moment-multitasking

If you could visit any place in the world, where would you go? India.

What is your favorite place you’ve been? Italy.

What are three of your favorite books? Pride and Prejudice, Simple Abundance, Little House

If you had to buy any magazine what would it be? I'm not a fan of magazines... I can't remember the last time I physically purchased one, although if I did it would have been on the Royal Wedding

What is one thing that gets on your nerves? Crabiness- in myself and others!

What is your favorite sport to watch or play? Hockey

What do you love to do when you have nothing to do? Family photo arranging, have friends over for dinner

What are three things you wish you had? More time, more space, more dates with Ian ;)

What is your favorite treat? cookie sandwiches

What are a few things you hope to accomplish or learn this year? Get more producing opportunities, get better at parenting, build our new house.

What are your favorite things to watch (tv show/movie)? on tv currently, Modern Family, The Office, Glee

What are your three most visited websites (besides facebook/email)? I'm boring, I never go online except to check email, blog and check on other blogs